03 October 2005

my ex is getting married...

and it's weird that i feel nothing in particular. i mean, i'm supposed to be happy for her, right? nope, nothing there. or should i feel pangs of jealousy and general discontent? nope, that's not it either. okay, i'm glad she's found someone special in her life but that's like how i feel for most people getting married, so nothing special there again.

our time together was a pretty tumultuous roller-coaster. we got together on labour day of '98. we were at tower books and she cornered me behind this calendar stand, demanding to know my intentions towards her. now those who know would tell you i'm not given to expressing my emotions, nope not your regular faucet i am. but threatened by a skinny 39-kg girl was a whole new experience for me. needless to say, i caved and confessed. i suppose it was fortunate for me that she felt the same way about me. we got together that evening.

it was my first relationship. i came from an all-boys school. so you can tell how much experience i had in this sort of thing. yup, nada. zilch. if there's anything less zero than zero, that would be how much experience i had with girls. if our breakup (which came a mere three weeks later) was reported on the radio, jamie yeo will just play Crash and Burn again. okay, low blow. :P

i guess i was the bastard who screwed it up the first time. seriously, you can't imagine how badly i sucked at playing boyfriend.

oh we arranged to watch movie ah? forgot leh, i playing football with my friends now.

(holding her hand) eh, why hand so rough one? haha, joke joke. *

now if you thought the breakup meant the end of this story, sorry no such luck. the week after we broke up, we both fell incredibly sick. maybe it was because it was so bloody traumatic for our adolescent hearts? who knows.

still, even after our three-week fiasco, we were still very much attracted to each other. so what happened was three years of... you know what? even today, i can't tell you what our relationship was at all. anyway long story short, i moved on first, she got pissed cos i moved on despite telling her i still had feelings for her then which of course i did but there comes a time when enough is enough you know? so things were all-round pissy for a bit, until it came to a pass, she found a guy and was all happy-doo-da again so happy ever after, or at least until whenever.

so now we are where we are, cold and composed... friends but not really cos we don't really keep in contact and she's busy with wedding preparations and me being generally a lazy bastard, i don't make an effort either. better this way i suppose.

am fairly well-adjusted in my life as i know it currently. my current girlfriend doesn't hate me, thank god for that. so cheers to you, c. i'm sure married life becomes you, it's almost written in the stars, predestined even, that you shld become someone's wife, some lucky kids' mother. even though the you now no longer resembles the you i knew back when (at least outwardly), i think on some level, you'll always be the special "first girlfriend"... unless you count the girl at kindergarten as the first, then sorry :P

* This story soon became something of a tribal story, spread by word of mouth, in my jc. word travels waaaaayyyyyy too fast.


At Tuesday, October 04, 2005 10:30:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


Post a Comment

<< Home