flogging a dead blog

2005-11-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

because i want to gross you out

ashley loves biting on rags. and i do mean LURVVEEEEEEE. he can chew on a used towel happily for hours on end.

and that's what he did to this faithful rag.

it was in this bag of old clothes that we were going to throw away. he snuck into the bag and picked it specifically for his devious ends. he then ran underneath the dining table (his usual modus operandi, as he knows we cannot reach him easily when he's there) and began chewing the daylights out of the sucker.

so we thought it was harmless and all, until he tore off an approximately 10cm strip from the rag. we tried to get the cloth back from him, which invariably led to him resisting and in his excitement, he swallowed the darn strip.

* * * * * * * * * *

the next day, ashley took a poop, but there was a stubborn dropping which refused to dislodge itself from his behind.

that's when we knew - the strip of rag doth returneth.

2005-11-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

coverage

i'm sooo up to my eyeballs in work you can't believe. i don't really like to talk about work afterhours but these week or so has just been a deluge of incomings. and nothing seems to be leaving my cubicle!

on top of my own shit, i have to handle other people's bollocks as well cos my boss doesn't trust my colleague to handle things by himself so i have to guide him along for most of his projects (and in some cases, help clean up the mess or bloody hell just do it myself).

i suppose it's a good sign. it's great that she trusts me enough to leave me to my own devices but dammit stop giving me more things to do woman! at least for the rest of this year okay?

2005-11-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

You Are Likely a Third Born

At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.

The Birth Order Predictor

How the heow did they figure that one out??? Though technically, although i do indeed have two elder siblings, i'm not really third-born since i had a late brother as well. again, having said that, i think this test was more about the issue of having a third-born psyche, rather than actually having been physically the third-born child in a family, so i'll let this lil' matter pass...

2005-11-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

the inside of a joke

this is just for you c, since you like them angelfishes so much.

With compliments,

GABE

2005-11-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

viva la raza

eddie guerrero (October 9 1967 - November 13 2005)

you can lie, you can cheat, you can steal. but death is not a gimmick, it has no heel/face turns, there are no kayfabes.

viva la raza, for the last time.

2005-11-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

Live like you were dying

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do

and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again

and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?

Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying

* * * * *

not a big fan of country, and definitely not usually suckered into all that sentimental crap but something about this tim mcgraw song gets to me.

maybe it's that part about reading the good book.

2005-10-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

crazy life

toad the wet sprocket is swirling around in my head - good intentions, crazy life, et al - as i let the weekend sink in. spent saturdays catching up with good friends. the afternoon and evening was a glorious rush, stopping by suntec to pick up tickets for our trip in dec to malaysia. for the uninitiated, they had a travel malaysia fair during the weekend, and there were some pretty good deals. in the end, we paid like $229 for a 4D3N affair which will bring us to the heights of genting and the gastronomical delights of good ol' malacca. ah, malacca brings back many fond memories... for my stomach. seafood at the portugese settlement, chicken rice balls, and a smorgasbord of peranakan fare awaits us... can't wait!

oh! it's a shame none of us brought our cameras along. some of the major players in the malaysian coach tour circuit had brought in some of their top-of-the-line luxury coaches. and don't be sceptical i know some of these companies brag about the "luxury" coaches when they're just the air-conditioned equivalent of bas sekolah but boy, these babies were rocking! they had like massage chair seats, personal entertainment systems, attendants, and some of them were double-decker ones. who woulda thunk it!

anyway, after getting the tickets (which kevin will generously sponsor for all of us, hopefully? :P) we adjourned to crystal jade for dinner and subsequently brewerkz for the match of the season so far for me - Spurs vs the old enemy, the the bastards from down the road Ars*nal. We had a blinder of a first half! the gooners couldn't even get a shot in edgewise. jenas and carrick both had chances to put the game beyond any reasonable doubt (though with spurs, what would that be? 10-0? and we might even have to scrape a 10-9 win at the end, knowing our luck with scorelines, but anyhow...) then of course, that bloody frog pires had to ruin it all. somebody shld make it illegal for pires to play against spurs... needless to say, i got a bit grumpy after that.

and after the game, the gang headed off home and i went to meet up with alvin and harjit for more beer at chinaOne, and half-priced magaritas at cafe iguana. sweeeet, what a way to end a saturday night.

sunday - not quite as spectacular. work to clear, and other stuff that i cannot elaborate at this point. suffice to say i'm quite messed up in the head and given enough time, i can apply my anti-midas touch to anything in my life. more about that later...

2005-10-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

BITCHing in haikus

plane's left without me
>>>>>>>>>>>>> SQ something or other >>
i've been
overlooked

sliding
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
quickly
down
the BITCH's pecking order
like yesterday's used

no reason enough
to go on any further
picking up the
S c rA p S

guess god's telling me
to watch out for saturday's
STRAITS TIMES CLASSIFIEDS

2005-10-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

of falling birds and dead blogs

a wee hatchling fell from its nest today. the mother had nested in a crevice up on the roof at the office garden on the second floor. we picked the poor bird up. it must have broken its leg, cos it couldn't run away from us. a guy from admin placed him in the box and declared that he would nurse it back to health, as he had done for numerous other birds similarly injured during his kampung days. satisfied that the bird is in good hands, i filled my hot water kettle at the pantry and dragged my feet back to the grind.

given the fact that this is just about the most exciting part of my work day, no wonder my blog is dead.

2005-10-06T14:40:00.000+08:00

flipping the bird

remember clie the world's second cutest baby, a not-too-distant runner-up to my niece the champion? well, here comes the undisputed winner of the Most Vulgar Toddler award. let's just say this one was a no-contest.

2005-10-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

on the train again

i love the rides home when i've a head full of tunes and a good book in hand.

plugged into my mini, i'm lost as i exit, stage left into the backstage of this world of the nodding lady beside me and the blank faces all around. in my mind, i'm floating with a sunburnt pi, mourning all that has been lost, and the animals around me and in my mind. i walk with shadow as we gather the troops with wednesday. i sit in the courtroom as atticus sweeps me away with his oratory.

and all this while, corgan and his unlikely crew of folds, kanye and sheila nichols croons, caresses the even more unlikely soundtrack. and it's all perfect.

my heart sinks whenever the PA sounds out my stop, ending my all-too-brief escape into a dimension without dreary work weeks, bali bombs and the stranger's head on my shoulder.

2005-10-04T22:36:00.000+08:00

i want me some of that

possibly the second cutest little girl in the world (the first naturally being my niece, the greatest little girl ever to set her funky feet on this earth) has a blog! ok, its mostly a photoblog set up by her daddy dearest, this guy called nick pan. personally, i think that's just about the sweetest thing a parent can do for his or her child - a living chronicle of his or her growing up years. and it doesn't hurt that she's so bloody cute!

makes you wanna have a little kid to blog about, innit? no? k, i'm just a spas then.

link: http://clie.pearlpan.com/

2005-10-03T00:11:00.000+08:00

my ex is getting married...

and it's weird that i feel nothing in particular. i mean, i'm supposed to be happy for her, right? nope, nothing there. or should i feel pangs of jealousy and general discontent? nope, that's not it either. okay, i'm glad she's found someone special in her life but that's like how i feel for most people getting married, so nothing special there again.

our time together was a pretty tumultuous roller-coaster. we got together on labour day of '98. we were at tower books and she cornered me behind this calendar stand, demanding to know my intentions towards her. now those who know would tell you i'm not given to expressing my emotions, nope not your regular faucet i am. but threatened by a skinny 39-kg girl was a whole new experience for me. needless to say, i caved and confessed. i suppose it was fortunate for me that she felt the same way about me. we got together that evening.

it was my first relationship. i came from an all-boys school. so you can tell how much experience i had in this sort of thing. yup, nada. zilch. if there's anything less zero than zero, that would be how much experience i had with girls. if our breakup (which came a mere three weeks later) was reported on the radio, jamie yeo will just play Crash and Burn again. okay, low blow. :P

i guess i was the bastard who screwed it up the first time. seriously, you can't imagine how badly i sucked at playing boyfriend.

oh we arranged to watch movie ah? forgot leh, i playing football with my friends now.

(holding her hand) eh, why hand so rough one? haha, joke joke. *

now if you thought the breakup meant the end of this story, sorry no such luck. the week after we broke up, we both fell incredibly sick. maybe it was because it was so bloody traumatic for our adolescent hearts? who knows.

still, even after our three-week fiasco, we were still very much attracted to each other. so what happened was three years of... you know what? even today, i can't tell you what our relationship was at all. anyway long story short, i moved on first, she got pissed cos i moved on despite telling her i still had feelings for her then which of course i did but there comes a time when enough is enough you know? so things were all-round pissy for a bit, until it came to a pass, she found a guy and was all happy-doo-da again so happy ever after, or at least until whenever.

so now we are where we are, cold and composed... friends but not really cos we don't really keep in contact and she's busy with wedding preparations and me being generally a lazy bastard, i don't make an effort either. better this way i suppose.

am fairly well-adjusted in my life as i know it currently. my current girlfriend doesn't hate me, thank god for that. so cheers to you, c. i'm sure married life becomes you, it's almost written in the stars, predestined even, that you shld become someone's wife, some lucky kids' mother. even though the you now no longer resembles the you i knew back when (at least outwardly), i think on some level, you'll always be the special "first girlfriend"... unless you count the girl at kindergarten as the first, then sorry :P

* This story soon became something of a tribal story, spread by word of mouth, in my jc. word travels waaaaayyyyyy too fast.

2005-08-28T12:49:00.000+08:00

latest object(s) of desire

music: hard-fi's stars of cctv.

comedy: eddie izzard's glorious and dressed to kill

trippin': glastonbury!

2005-08-17T19:49:00.001+08:00

la vie artistic licence

courtesy of khementi

for the uninitiated, CORS is the worlds most stupid goddamn idea. in the annals of bad ideas, this one was the main event. fortunately, i left NUS early enough not to be screwed over a million times by it.

in other news, the Zionists have finally decided that pulling out of the Gaza strip would be the best course of action. gee which rocket scientist pulled THAT idea out of a hat. lemme offer another brilliant hypothesis: perhaps moving back to Israel was not such a good idea after all? After all, what with you guys having been away so long and the fact that someone else already lives where you lived, hey maybe back then you could already tell it wasn't gonna be as easy as you thought it would, you know? just a thought.

we're going down, down in an earlier round
Sugar we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
Loaded gun complex
Cock it and pull it

Sugar, we're going down - Fallout Boy

2005-08-10T20:08:00.000+08:00

all apologies

my, i must have forgotten i had a blog. have admittedly been a tad distracted with my new toy :-) on top of the ipod, i've also discovered the best things since steve jobs - ares p2p. arrrrrghhh mee hearties yessireee imma rippin' them songs a new one.

i've lovin' the mini, no doubt. it's literally a pocket full of tunes. the battery life's shorter than gwen stefani's shorts but man, its quite a step up from my md player, which now seems like a brick in comparison (kidding, you'll always have a special place in my heart, md)

so anyway, i was at the parade yesterday evening. my first time ever, so i was pretty psyched about it. yes, even the cynic in me couldn't get past the flag-waving tamborine-shaking euphoria of it all. truth be told though, i'm disappointed. jos said it's one of them things designed to make you go stir-crazy and all patriotic and shit. thing is, it wasn't that. was kinda just that little detached from it all, kinda like a bystander watching these whole bunch of people havin' a ball.

darn. the dog's messing with my leg. will continue this later.

2005-07-31T21:46:00.000+08:00

humpy dumpy ashley

god golly, ashley started humping pillows a couple of weeks ago.

children, they grow up so fast. *sniff* my baby's all grown up now, soon he can spawn a whole new generation of doggy-breathed chewing machines.

look out world.

p.s. just got my ipod mini. BURN! music, that is.

2005-07-27T10:08:00.000+08:00

audere est facere

for those who know me, they will be quite acutely aware that i'm a bit of a diehard spurs fan. now now, before you launch into a fit of derisive laughter, i'll have you know we just signed edgar davids, the midfield lynchpin who almost helped barcelona singlehandedly to the primera liga title, despite only joining in the middle of the season.

typically, i'd love to have such a colossal figure grace the pitch at white hart lane, except he might have come a season or two too late. at 32, time isn't exactly on his side. good thing he was on a free transfer, otherwise that would be another few million pounds badly spent. again.

coming back to my sporting allegiances. seems to me i'm destined to deviate towards sports organisations that cause their supporters no mean amount of anguish (spurs, seattle mariners, seattle sonics).

spurs, the perennial underachievers of english football, the fallen bastion of the beautiful game in a country where "hoof 'em and hope" was more the order of the day. the club whose hallowed grounds was blessed by the magic feet of glenn hoddle, ossie ardiles, paul gascoigne, gary lineker, david ginola, et al.

today, we are a club in perpetual rebuilding. who the hell rebuilds for a good whole decade. only tottenham fuckin' hotspur, that is. sometimes, i wish football fans can just up and support another club. i know some do. but as any self-respecting person would tell you, football means sticking to one club your entire life. it's perfectly legitimate to divorce your wife to marry another, but god forbid you switch to supportin' the gooners. you'd be the equivalent of a football pariah, rejected by all sides. even the damn gooners won't take a second look at you, judas. :-P

the logic of it all is really quite astounding, all these unwritten rules. like how you cannot support more than one club within the same league, but nobody gives a shit if you like another team in another league, no problem with that at all. hell, you can tie 10 team scarves from 10 teams in 10 different leagues, more power to you. of course, you need a neck like a Karen refugee but that's a totally different matter altogether.

maybe football fans are like sailors, a club at every port.

2005-07-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

god save the queen, but who save her subjects?

think the terrorists in london bought a surplus of explosives so now setting off somemore, again in the tube stations. i believe i speak for majority of those in the civilized world when i say KNNBCCB PLEASE CHOKE ON YOUR OWN COCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING TERRORIST BASTARDS I HOPE GOD/ALLAH/BOB DYLAN WELCOMES YOU PERSONALLY WHEN U TRY TO GAIN ENTRY INTO HEAVEN AND HE TELLS YOU: "SIAO KIA, KILL PEOPLE STILL WANT TO COME HERE? LI KI SI KAR HOR LA!"

ahem, rant over.

more news at wikipedia, constantly updated, very current even better than ChannelNewsLater.

2005-07-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

i want to ride my aeroplane

please, anyone who reads this, anyone at all. i will worship at your feet, kiss your grandma and feed your iguana if you have a mint condition (factory-sealed) smashing pumpkins' aeroplane flies high boxset or know of anyone who does and is willing to sell. will pay a premium for it, maybe S$300.

am so so so not kidding about this. have been searching everywhere for it but have not been able to find it anywhere. thing is, when tower records used to be at pacific plaza, i used to gaze longingly at the gleaming vacuum-wrapped monochromatic beast of a box set, sitting tantalisingly in the glass cabinet with his other boxset friends. being the poor student that i was, i was not willing to part with $90 to buy it, however much i craved it. of course looking back now, i totally regretted it cos its out of print now! talk about infinite sadness.

so please please please please please please please will a kind soul relieve me from my regret?

2005-07-21T09:14:00.001+08:00

online drama

aiyo buy what 3G fone watch drama on your mobile? knn you can just read blogs man. what a dramatic couple of days or so.

first, kennysia posted some nudies he posed for at the sg blogcon with sarongpartygirl, provoking a plethora of responses ranging from blind idol worship to scathing moralistic rampages. poor harrassed kenny protested, whimpered then succumbed to the disapproving finger-waving women in his life. dammit never even got to see the nudies first-hand, slowpoke that i am. DAMN MYSELF FOR NOT CHECKING EVERY GODDAMN BLOG EVERY 15 MINUTES OR SO! always missing out on the nude, i mean good stuff :-S (lucky got people post it on their blog after kenny took it down)

*ahem* anyway xiaxue, the docile lady that she is, had a lengthy commentary of abovementioned incident. let's just say she didn't quite approve. xialanxue, so obviously a fan of xiaxue's, chose to fan the flames, saying something along the lines of "HA! in your face kenny! xiaxue's your friend eh? try to protect her eh? now she turn around and kan you! BURRRN!!" something like that la.

then got into office today, checked out a couple of blogs before getting down to work (i.e. go for breakfast from 9:30 to 10 or thereabouts, who keeps count?). then lo and behold! xiaxue's blog and email account kena hacked! WAH! (*cue for audience* SHOCK! HORROR! WAH!) apparently, the hacker trash-canned all of her blog entries and emails. this xiaxue also damn good, got keep 3000 over emails, somemore got 12 blogs over 3 years sure alot of text and alot of pikture. confirm is damn heart pain man. such things actually serve as a archive of sorts for someone's personal history, like a chronological heuristic map for jogging the memories of yesterdays. "ah, 21 Dec 2002, i scolded that little boy. oh how can i forget the post on 1 April 2003, i remember when i was writing that post i was digging my nose then i pluck my nosehair until i cry. good times man."

but now, no more. not even a trace. this hacker got abit cruel. bad for xiaxue, but damn good for all whodunnit fans lor! let the recrimination begin! haha macham cluedo sial. "It was mrbrown in the kitchen with the ibook!"

but if you want to be totally cup-is-half-full about this fiasco, xiaxue can actually be rather proud that the hacker chose her as the target of his or her attack. eh, you think hacker go and hack any old blog meh? u think he'll choose mine? ptui! other people's readership runs into the thousands everyday okay. its an honour to be hacked, you know? proves you have clout. xiaxue's blog now joins a long illustrious list of hacked sites. bet bigfuck must be thinking: "nah bei i not framoose enough to be hacked issit! my blog come out in newspaper one okay, http://bigf***.blogspot.com okay. cheebye come hack my site you understand?"

okay, mai siao. off to work.

2005-07-20T10:19:00.000+08:00

cat's away

my entire family sans me (and relocated second sis) are now walking the merry, manic streets of HK. okay, not quite yet cos' they only flew off like 3 hours ago. anyway, that leaves me and ashley, in sg. so for five sweet days, i have the car and the house to myself. perfect opportunity to have a kegger, except think poor ashley would be too stressed out.

since i'm at work for most of the day, i've actually worked out an arrangement with my aunt (who lives 4 blocks away) to doggysit the poor kiddo. i swear, i feel like a parent leaving his pride and joy at the daycare for the very first time. those poor puppy eyes welling up with puppy tears, i almost called in sick, just to stay home and keep him company. but heck, i need the job, i need the money (god knows i need it, ever tried owing the bank 18,000 big ones plus interest? goddamn tertiary education). so i showed my famed stiff upper lip and went away, not turning back, in case he sees the reluctance in my eyes.

the shitty thing about having a stay-home mum is that you never have the place to yourself, cos dammit that's her office AND her home, where else she got to go homez? so for the first time in my entire lifetime, she's gone on a family vacation WITHOUT me, leaving me to run riot for five long days. i can already smell the sweet nectar of freedom. the freedom to toss my socks on the sofa, the freedom to guzzle beer over poker with a couple of pig-fri-dog-ends.

ah, but responsibility, you have. look after your doggy, you must.

yeah, don't have to share the car but can't bear to go anywhere cos i can't leave him alone. heck he already sets his own routine to fit mine. he naps most of the afternoon and generally mopes around until six-ish, seven-ish, when he starts to perk up, in anticipation of my return from work. then he gets the runabout until eleven or twelve before he licks me good night.

i know its just a dog and all to some people. but you don't get this affection and loyalty from the best of people. so if you'll excuse me, i'll be home all week.

unless we go to a dog-friendly park (or pub).

2005-07-13T21:37:00.000+08:00

more kidney beans

i know i've been harping a fair bit on the nkf-sph war but hey, my blog, my perogative. :P

have been speaking with my colleague, who used to work directly under tt durai at nkf. she's entirely sympathetic to his plight apparently and i suppose she's right on some counts, that in some ways, he's the victim here. a man who devoted 18 hour days, 7 days a week to the nkf cause must really be committed to the organisation. sure he was a fricking slave-driver but with him at the helm, nkf has become the superpower it is today.

also, the whole thing about mrs goh chok tong calling tt durai's pay package "peanuts" must be seen in the right context. you can't compare the man with the $2,000 wage-earner. would you like it if i said: "oei, you manager get $5,000 for fuck when the cleaner getting $800?" doesn't make sense, right? okay, i admit i may have overreacted about tt durai's pay earlier. shucks, fell into the same emotional trap set by super singh lawyer, turning the court of public opinion against the nkf. DAMMIT! :P

anyway, what mrs goh was referring to was that for men of tt durai's calibre, $25,000 really isn't that inflated a monthly wage. and i agree when mrbrown said that you wouldn't want a person worth $60,000 per annum heading an organisation with $200 million. hell, you want to talk about mismanagement, just hire me as CEO la. trust me, with that kind of funds at my disposal i'll give you more than golden taps. hell, i'll buy my own learjet.

still, i think nkf should seriously consider major reforms. accountability to its donors would be a good start. it's fine if you want to pay your CEO a CEO's pay. just tell me and justify why this amount is necessary la, like how if you get this fella what he can bring in, in terms of funds for the patients, far outstrips whatever renumeration he will receive. the public not stupid you know, they can do simple maths.

okay, enough about this rubbish. time to move on.

p.s.

2005-07-13T16:57:00.000+08:00

the saga ends

so the nkf isn't gonna sue sph anymore. guess tt durai had enough of the davinder suppository (XXXXL size). pity, this drama could hv occupied me for this week. now i actually have to work. shucks.

and i changed my mind, i wanna be the lawyer for nkf lawsuits against sph now. bloody hell, no need talk, no need prepare anything. just put my ceo on the stand against super singh lawyer and watch him burn! crumble! blown to bits by the almighty juggernaut that is singapore's only print media organisation!

and then, i'll collect my paycheck from Golden Taps, thankew you very much.

unless of course, Lee Kuan Yew's blog, a.k.a. the straits times had conveniently left out the NKF counsel's equally convincing cross-examination? hahahaha conspiracy theorist, i am! :P

2005-07-12T16:37:00.000+08:00

when i grow up i wanna be CEO of NKF

talk about shooting yourself in the foot. sue SPH? over your dead body, you will. the media giant will crush you with their little pinky, run a perfectly legal smear campaign on yo' ass and leave you for dead in your bathroom with the gold taps. at least you'd have $1.8million to bequeath your young ones.

and wtf, 12 months bonus? are you serious about this shit? i know NKF is being run on a business model for greatest efficacy in fighting for the limited donor dollar, that i can comprehend and accept. i can even understand why NKF employees are one of the most competitively-paid workforce around. you pay them well, they're happy, they do a good job, they get more funds, they save more patients, everybody wins.

but TWELVE MONTHS BONUS??? ain't no business model that rich, boys and girls. you're not talking about Shell here, this here is a non-profit organisation where sole breadwinners part with $50 of their hard-earned money so they can help little bald kids with cancer or the penniless uncle with the diseased kidneys, not to help you renovate your toilet lor.

and the most surprising thing is i wasn't even that surprised he makes so much a year. in fact, i was surprised NKF paid him that little. I was expecting like a cool million a year, after taxes.

and don't think SPH is all that angelic either. damn sneaky, these fellas. "you sue me, i plaster your dirty laundry all over the front page of ST. yeah take that, you cunt. i'll send davinder singh to screw your ass." mental note: never piss off davinder singh, he one ruthless muthafucka. Huang Na trial new more newsworthy can? but no, they purperly put this TT Durai on a TWO PAGE SPREAD. somemore got verbatim blow-by-blow of the damning bits. simi journalistic objectivity? their headline also abit salah, they should say Vengeance is mine instead.

now you know who's gonna suffer the brunt of this war? the patients under NKF. like any other war, it's always the innocent civilians who have to face the bombs, wherever they may land. nobody's gonna donate to those goddamn 1900 shows anymore, not even if you have fann wong stripping to her undies and shaggin' christopher lee. and who's gonna save these poor bastards from this fire? not SPH. not even davinder singh (though if you ask nicely, maybe he wun whup nkf's ass so bad)

2005-07-08T10:16:00.000+08:00

damn terrorists

may the fury of a thousand mosquitoes be unleashed upon your anus and your hands grow too short for you to scratch it.

damn american administrations since who-knows-when

it's your damn fault too. you guys created this mess by supporting corrupt middle-eastern regimes, destabilizing the entire region and subsequently exploiting your close links with the dictators in power for their precious oil. damn gollums, the whole lot of you.

damn war on terror

i'm sorry, but an eye for an eye is so old-testament. get with the programme, asswipes! HELLOOO? 21st century non? pre-empt my ass, suckers!

2005-07-06T16:26:00.000+08:00

decipher this

weird dreams totally creep me out. just had one last night, can't remember the whole thing. you know how some parts of your dreams come through quite clearly and other parts are just a blur and all you can do is piece them together intuitively? this one is something like this:

ex-colleague of mine, comes up to me in random cafe and says: "i was working at a HIV/AIDS volunteer organisation and i now have aids." "aids isn't infectious through physical contact, is it?" i questioned. "i don't know."

blurry portion, fast forward

i probed further: "don't mind me for asking, but are you sexually active with your boyfriend?"

"yes."

"maybe he passed it to you then."

fast forward again.

"do you fuck around?"

boyfriend: "yes."

an interesting point to note is that this "boyfriend" is actually not the boyfriend of my ex-colleague but the boyfriend of an nus schoolmate. how i managed to mix them up is a question you should direct to my subconscious mind. fast forward again.

me: "are you HIV positive?"

"boyfriend": "yes, and i'm sorry, name withheld."

can't remember anymore, and i woke up feeling entirely disoriented. can anyone interpret dreams? do help me with this one, though i think this is most likely just a pastiche of random tripe in my mind.

it's nice to know that even in my dreams, i'm not stupid enough to believe working in a HIV/AIDS organisation will give you aids. this is of course, more than i can say about those stupid parents who demanded a childcare centre which hired a gay teacher (who wasn't even positive!) to change all the furniture and basically dettol the entire school.

work is almost done, gonna work up a sweat playing really bad tennis. ROCK!

2005-07-04T23:27:00.000+08:00

nightfall

i drove back home with weezer blaring on the stereo. its incredibly easy listening and it doesn't take much to get going on this confection. i especially like perfect situation cos' it speaks of something that i totally identify with - its the lament of fools who don't make more of their lives and instead let perfectly good potential waste away.

anyway, i parked the car and got out when this indian guy came up and asked: "sir, car wash?" i declined, as the ride was still relatively clean. this same guy (think he works at the nearby site) walks the same beat everyday with the same refrain. there was something so honourable about him, a dignified grace in his smile when i turned his offer down. no fuss, just a nod and he moves on, looking for opportunities elsewhere.

maybe he works so hard to build a family home, or to have enough to get married and start a small business, who knows. but his endeavour to work towards a better life puts me to shame, for i have neither the diligence nor determination to do the same.

this humbling lesson could be toiling in your neighbourhood.

2005-07-03T21:55:00.000+08:00

measurements of beauty

my friend's uncle will be bringing me one of these lovely babies when he comes over from the US in July. pretty good deal too methink. he's letting me have one for US$175 (price in singapore dollars to be determined at time of transaction. Clever little buggers, these business types)

this is of course, the same uncle which my friend has been talking about. the taxi-driver in singapore who made good in the us, reselling and exporting electronics to the middle east, the one who now owns a sweet crib with a pool and what not, complete with an SUV and a lincoln. in short: the american dream.

he's been trying to convince me and D that we should up and do the same. "what can we look forward to in singapore? maybe in 10 years time, we can have our $5,000 a month job, our mini-sedan and five-room flat in Punggol. let's be like our ancestors, who came from wherever they were to this goddamn red dot to make a killing. lets move out of our comfort zone and be more than we can be."

not bad this fella, should go sell magic stones to aunties.

seriously though, worth a thought innit?

2005-07-01T13:17:00.000+08:00

Yvette, princess extraordinaire

she's a cute one, isn't she? my niece doesn't suffer fools lightly. at her daycare, some kid took her toy or something. so she decided to use her newly acquired chompers on the poor, unfortunate sod. needless to say, the powers-that-be at the centre didn't take too kindly to biting of other daycare kids so for the rest of the day, she had to take an extended time out with no toys, which in kidspeak translates to hell on earth.

my mum wishes she wasn't oceans away in seattle, but i think she'd probably be better off there. just wish seattle wasn't a 20-hour flight away :-S

2005-06-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

rising from ashes

okay, this is not happening. somebody slap me please. i did not just read on billy corgan's blog that he plans to REUNITE THE SMASHING PUMPKINS. *pinch self* here's to hoping he brings iha, d'arcy, chamberlain all back, not replacements. let's bring out all the SP records. time to shake down to 1979!

god, please don't let this be a zwan.

WOOHOO!!

2005-06-27T19:31:00.000+08:00

gramaphone got my number

got a little excited at gramaphone yesterday. at one point, i had like 4-5 CDs in hand, actually contemplating getting them all even though i had not listened to a couple of them. made the "essential" purchases in the end.

make believe - weezer
songs for silverman - ben folds

rivers is crooning for me right now. i wonder if i'm becoming less enthusiastic about music as i grow older. i remember a time when i was all nuts about weezer. am still very much into their music. however, even though i knew of their may 10 release date for make believe, i had waited until now to finally get my very own, when previously i would have been an overnighter at the record store. okay i'm embellishing, but you get the gist.

ben folds was a surprise buy for me. only had the first ben folds five album, whatever and ever amen. like it tons but never got into the second one. then of course, gramaphone HAD to display it so prominently. and dammit its all nicely packaged and shit (am such a sucker for these pretty things) so naturally, i had to get it.

my affair with music has always been a series of obsessions. at one point, i was all 933 with the fish leongs, lee homs and maydays. never bought their cds of course (save penny tai's latest offering). why buy when you have souting.com? prior to that, tkenna and nickel creek were on a constant loop. that is, until they go all looped out in my head and i put it aside and never listen to it for months on end. think i can get quite obsessive and just listen to something to death. guess i can't be a deejay. will just bore the listener with the same ol' shite over and over and over and over and over and over....

also, is it a coincidence that the main men for both records are dictatorial frontmen with fascist streaks? well, at least ben folds used to be one when his last name was five. kidding of course... everyone knows that's just his stage name HA! :P

"50 baht for tuk-tuk, 100 baht if you keep playing that shit."

2005-06-24T15:47:00.000+08:00

sian half

today's my company's dinner and dance. nowadays, everyone wants to copy gahmen. pap go to zouk, everybody want to go nightclub for their corporate event also. not that i'm complaining la. 2 free drinks, 4 lucky draws (prizes not bad somemore), quite alright right?

ptui! nahbei colleague sabo me, ask me help her take picture for the event. tell you, this place supposed to be damn tech-savvy right? suddenly pop out this woman, can ask me questions like:

"eh, how to make an exact copy of my excel file ah?" (save as different name! piang!)
"eh, you know how to put this flash on the camera or not ah?"

cheeh! spoil all my plans. i was intending to go there and eat, go jalan, come back for lucky draw, drink, then fuck off. now all 泡汤already lor.

tulan.

2005-06-24T09:50:00.000+08:00

"if i keep still, maybe they won't see me"

ashley the terrible

My dog Ashley is currently a 4-month old maltese on speed. for real. when i read the breed description, it said "malteses have gentle disposition, and are generally low maintenance." lucky i didn't waste my money buying that book cos' the fella who wrote it was either talking through his anus or has never had a maltese puppy.

Ashley has gotten me in tons of trouble with my mom. he made a couple of big transactions on the dining room carpet and since the offending pile had excellent camo qualities, my mom proceeded to hoover it all into her new hoover (really, its a Hoover. never bluff you!). Upon detecting a strange stench emanating from her recently purchased pride-and-joy, she discovered to her *ahem* dismay that she had vacuumed puppy waste unwittingly. needless to say, the shit hitteth the hoover-rotorblade.

Ashley also likes to run up the stairs at home. We are trying to not to let him upstairs, though that's not the major issue. the problem is, this pup can run up. but cannot go back down. so lan lan, everytime he run up, he stuck on the stairs want to come down but dunno how. like that how? bark lor. and our stairwell has better acoustics than the esplanade, so you can imagine how happy our ENT (ear nose throat) doctor is. har?

Other pet grouses (yes all pun intended): nipping at our ankles when we don't play with him (nao hiah, like woman lor, make people dulan just to get a reaction); chewing up the sofa bed in the computer room; chewing up anything he can reach; chewing up my bank account balance (knn next time if i have chewren i'll tell them "don't be human doctor be animal lao goong can earn alot more); worrying that he'll squeeze his head through the stair railing and commit suicide. this list is not exhaustive by the way.

i love you anyway, Ashley.

for your unquestioning affection; for greeting me with unbounded enthusiasm when i come back home, everyday without fail, even if i did scold you the day before for whatever transgression(s) you've committed; for showing me that even my mom, previously non-fan of dogs, can be made a convert; and most importantly, for teaching me a thing or two about unconditional love and loyalty. i know some might think that i'm anthropomorphizing, but it's hard not to think that dogs are genuinely capable of affection.

thank you, Ashley.

but ermm... can you stop crapping on the carpet?

2005-06-23T16:46:00.000+08:00

年少无知

told this story many many times before but everyone always laugh in disbelief. today, i tried narrating it to someone over tea break and got the same reaction. so that's it! fuck you all, understand! i'll write it on this blog so nobody can laugh! last time i damn cute one okay, big head small body who don't like? okay la, so along the way, something went terribly wrong. but this story is no fib. true story, confirm chop ISO-stamp guarantee.

anyway, the story:

when i was in my PAP white-shirt, pink-pinstripe shorts phase, i met this girl. she was the most jude girl in class, for surrreeeee. alabaster skin, straight hair worn in a neat bob, phoar! and she like me okay! one particular episode sticks out in my mind. we were rehearsing for our graduation ceremony performance (damn grand ah, this teck ghee cc kindergarten) and we were sitting on a stage, away from the rest of the class. we held hands and were in a little pre-pubescent world of our own, talking about god-can't-even-remember-what. think last time damn innocent also, where got think about "phwoar this chick damn jude dunno when can bonk her". all we wanted to do was sit together during colouring-random-dinosaurs-in-the-random-book time, nap-time, learning chinese time, and making sure each other got the cooler bicycles with the streamers and not the banged-up rusty one that all the slow kids were stuck with.

true love, can?

also got another separate, slightly related story:

there was this indian girl who kept stalking me at the bookstore near the cc. everytime i go to the section with all the ladybug (or ladybird? ladyboy?) books, she'd be just peeking around the corner smiling at me. cheeh! and you know la, last time small don't know jackshit see indian only scared. last time aku heart-throb siah, got 痴情的小妹妹. sigh, good times...

actually, my current girlfriend also looks abit like the girl from the earlier story. maybe that's why i sian her in the first place haha. okay, i didn't actually go after her la, i just fake my way into getting her to ask me "eh nahbei cheebye you like me or not?" not her exact words, but still.

anyway, this story i tell another time. going to the gym to pay my overdue locker fee. cham, dunno got charge extra for late payout or not.

2005-06-23T16:21:00.000+08:00

accomplished at work today:

enthusiastically expounding on the virtue of a vera wang
enthusiastically expounding on the merits of being vera wang (work from home, tons of moolah, no need to ever do own laundry, having fashion journos drool over your work even if it was just a blue sarong)
coming to the conclusion that jack 'n' jill potato chips (the barbecue flavour) were a gift from god (fuck you pringles! where got potato can slice so perfect shape one! curve nice nice somemore so fake, you bluff who? ptui!)
being screwed by reuters cafeteria (knn english breakfast tea for $1.50 and it taste like lipton, which retails at aforementioned f&b outlet for a 'paltry' $1.30. think i neber go supermarket before issit?)
my second entry into my second blog

okay, i think items 1 and 2 is abit misleading. Sorry, aku not gay, aku not even metrosexual. i'd just like to have her life, is all.

also, i apologise to all taxpayers. today waste your money do all these boliao thing. no mood work is like that one. tomorrow i promise i make sure you get your money's worth.

2005-06-22T13:24:00.000+08:00

i'm protesting against my employer for the brain-numbing balls-shrinking shite work i face everyday. so i've cunningly devised a perfect plan to waste precious bandwidth and manhours. i'm starting a blog. clever innit? =)